- I felt weird, lumpy and my centre of gravity had shifted thanks to giant milk-filled mammaries and a recently acquired excess layer of cake-based flabbage.
- I was in constant fear of not just leaking a bit of milk, but actually flooding the local area.
- My vagina still hurt.
I’d barely had a full night’s sleep in nine months and whenever I did sleep, I ground my teeth so much I literally shattered my front tooth. So you can imagine I went into those early client meetings feeling serene, relaxed, in control and ready to take on the world. I was back! I was still fabulous! I was… wait a second, is that dried biscuit or poo on my top?
The first big meeting I had with a potential new client was like a bad episode of Ally McBeal. It was a farce of epic proportions. And prat-falling her way through the whole thing like a lactating Bridget Jones was me.