Milway bought me Erika Knight’s Simple Crochet book for Christmas. Until that point I’d been labouring under the illusion that the only way to crochet was with tongue firmly in cheek, but suddenly here was a design book with tasteful patterns in that wouldn’t look out of place in a some City-type’s po-faced loft apartment. Maybe I too could be tasteful!

Alas, the taste-gods have so far rejected me. This trendy tea cosy (or cozy to US citizens) was my verson of the cafetiere cosy (!). Possibly my first mistake was foolishly believing the I have it in me to work out my own designs. My second was ignoring the requests for posh black cotton yarn and using cheapo black acrylic, of which I have an abundant supply. My third was attempting to make something for myself (I’ve proved time and time again that I can’t make something for myself with any hope of success) The gods were already displeased.

I was in a posh hotel making this (a birthday present from Al – I sure know how to make the most of a romantic weekend away, eh?!) so really the surroundings should have been perfect. However, the fatal flaw in all that was that I guessed how big it needed to be to fit my teapot. Sure enough, it turned out to be too small.

I was going to bodge a bit of extra crochet onto the side, but the very thought of giving up my aspirational tea cosy for a half-arsed black cover made me too depressed for words, and the miserable thing has been consigned to my wool box until the day I spot some hapless soul with a correctly proportioned unclothed pot.