I don’t really see the point in having babies unless you dress them up in ridiculous clothes for your own amusement. Luckily, there have been plenty of powerless babes appearing in my life recently, and I’ve taken full advantage of their helplessness by plopping a tomato hat on their innocent noggins as soon as they hit the air.
My latest victim is my nephew, George, who’s shown his gratitude to his favourite aunt by instantly growing too large for his. What he doesn’t know, however, is that I can knock these things up at a hell of a rate of knots, and each time he outgrows a hat, another one will soon appear to replace it.
It’s important that these youngsters know who’s boss.
Here’s a picture of him pretending he doesn’t care that he looks ludicrous.